My partner and I do it together in public! This time in the Nation’s Capitol.

Glen Retief, age 12, a sensitive boy in a violent world

(This post contains lots of info about upcoming gigs and ONE special personal announcement. Can you find it?)

Actually this orchestrated public display will not be the first noteworthy event in which Glen and I flop around, a tag team of heart, mind, and body resulting in artistic  man on man action.In addition to many  impromptu artistic intercourse where we reveled in at cozy corner spots on the couch replete with low lights and murmurs, we done it in cars, and on queues, and we have done it more than once  in the kitchen, the heart of the home, so suitable for two gay men to get it on in front of a mixed group of anxious, expectant, and trangressive folks as they marvel at the crazy risky behavior we flaunt in their faces.  (Wait! He used a semi colon THERE?! Crazy man.)

We have a good history of doing it in front a variety of friends and strangers. We once did it for a small friendly audience of Quaker Folks in Hartford, CT. Then there was mildly raucous audience in Belfast that plied us with beers and local legend. Sure we have known that some folks prefer spying on us doing our stuff separately–alone–our special time where we each have control of content and climax.

I know that after the audience witnesses me do my thing, as I hobble off the stage, I feel spent and tremulous. I love to see us do it alone, but doing it together is well, explosive. We can’t keep our hands and performance schedules off of each other.

So we are at it again. Glen Retief, the memoirist, and I, the theater Bible scholar queer activist guy will offer a joint presentation, this time in Washington, DC.(See Details Below)

• Glen will read from his new book, The Jack Bank–A Memoiof a South African Childhood. (His South African accents with its lilts is sweeter than an apple tart covered in cream.
• For my part I will perform some new stand-up comedy (which I have been told needs to come with a surgeon general’s warning. Apparently it is not good for complacency) and perform scenes from my newest play I Can See Sarah Palin from My Wnidow! Lessons before the Second Coming.

I love book readings when authors read their own work, but  often I find something missing and get a little bored. Glen is a brilliant reader, very animated, “performance art bookstore quality” :–p No honestly I have been thrilled to see him deeply reach people causing them to listen, laugh, are moved by the words Glen skillfully crafted each sentence and paragraph and even phrase while never forgetting the the overall arc of the work.  over as if he was sculpture of stone peaces to flank a cathedral.  

What you will also get with us together is a conversation between us that goes beyond being Quaker who use art for public witness. We are both Quaker who are partnered together and hope to get under the care of our local meeting, Pennsdale. We will touch on the role of being supporter, critic, and all that comes with partnership.

Quaker Artist and Public Witness
Peterson Toscano performs feats of activism on the stage while Glen Retief reveals injustice in the world and within himself on the page. These two very different Quaker artists reach out through their art into the broader world as they explore racism, homophobia, privilege, violence, faith, and identity.

Glen Retief will read from his new book–The Jack Bank, A memoir of a South African Childhood (St. Martins Press.) Retief grew up during Apartheid, and as a white privileged boy, he received training on how to maintain white domination for a racist regime. But as a gay young man, he found that his position in a macho, heterosexist, religious society created tensions that led him to question the world around him. His memoir offers an honest reflection and insightful reflection.

Growing up outside of New York City during the early HIV/AIDS crisis, Peterson Toscano received only negative messages about his sexuality. Being a devout Christian with a gay orientation, Toscano longed for a “cure” that would make him straight.  17 years and $30,000 later Toscano began to question his journey ultimately leading him to come out gay. He has since become internationally recognized for his hilarious and eye-opening comic plays–Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House (now on DVD), The Re-Education of George W. Bush, and Queer 101–Now I Know my gAy,B,C’s. His most recent work exposes gender benders in the Bible. Toscano will perform excerpts from some of his play and read from his upcoming memoir.

Doin' It in Belfast

Glen Retief and Peterson Toscano live in Sunbury, PA and are members of Penndale Monthly Meeting. They will marry under the care of their meeting later this year. Retief is associate professor of writing at Susquehanna University. Toscano performs his original one-person plays and gives lectures at universities, high schools, and theaters throughout North America and Europe.
Praise for their work:

“Glen Retief’s Jack Bank is a transgressive, harrowing and illuminating work of literary art.  In a language marked by a brutal childhood in the last years of the apartheid regime, and with uncommon wisdom, Retief’s epiphanic narrative draws us into regions of  cultural importance beyond the scope of traditional memoir.  Thus, he changes what we imagine this genre to be, allowing it to become something truer.”—Carolyn Forché, author of The Country Between Us

“…Peterson Toscano is the quintessential storyteller. A theater artist capable of bringing together exciting characters into a dramatic world that informs, entertains, and creates a platform for dialogue and possible constructive change. I enjoyed his performance immensely and look forward to his future work.”
Roberto Prestigiacomo, Producing Artistic Director of AtticRep, San Antonio, TX

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Off to San Antonio. Should I pack my lime green gas mask?

Today I get to perform a comedy cabaret of sorts in Harrisburg, PA. I love this sort of presentation. I get to pick and choose from scores of excerpts out of my shows along with stand-up comedy, improv, and storytelling. The casual setting and lively audience result in a fresh show of old favorites that is never quite the same each time. This performance will benefit Common Roads.

Common Roads, program arm of the LGBT Community Center Coalition of Central Pennsylvania, provides education, advocacy, and programming to empower lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth throughout the Central Pennsylvania region.

I also get to hang out tonight with Louie Marven, the very cool director of Common Roads, and his boyfriend, roommates, and puppy (ah, the gay lifestyle!)

Tomorrow I get up wicked early (demonically early?) to fly to San Antonio, Texas. There I will lead two classes (religion and theater) and give two lectures (transgender Bible characters and Wired for Activism) at Trinity University. Details here.

This morning I am frantic with packing for all of these events. Where is Marvin’s wig? Where are my shorts and sunglasses I got for South Africa? Is it really going to be 90 degrees in San Antonio tomorrow? What should I wear to the performance by a self-identified Xicana-Indígena lesbian multi-disciplinary artista? How many Homo No Mo DVDs should I bring? How many sets of earplugs? What should I download from iTunes onto my iPad? So many critical questions.

Today I am filled with so much happiness and energy after the GSA Leadership Summit at Dickinson College (I got to see my buddies from Mechanicsburg!) In my keynote about bullying I stressed that the bullies do not have the power nor should we simply react to their negative behavior as we seek to create safer schools. We need to find creative ways to affirm gender non-conforming students and students who are or may be bisexual, lesbian, transgender, gay, and queer or questioning. It’s getting beyond simply correcting “That’s So Gay” statements. It’s beyond tolerance. It’s about thoughtful inclusion of LGBTQ people and those with queer connections (lesbian, bi, gay, trans parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, etc) in the curriculum, school policy, forms, etc. It’s about education and not simply avoiding legal liabilities. It’s about creating schools where people can come out as themselves.

I’m also buzzing from the recent bizarre podcast I recorded with Zack Ford. (Reference for Lime Green Gas Mask) Goodness we bounced all over the place on this one. From Zack’s blog:

Zack’s sick and Peterson’s been busy, so this week’s episode isn’t exactly coherent. The most recent Glee episode gives us plenty to talk about, including bisexuality and anti-gay violence. Plus, there’s that whole Lady Gaga and Target thing. We also honor the passing of a local LGBT activist with the poem that was used in her 1993 wedding program. The episode isn’t over without appearances from Rev. Dr. Meadows and Marvin Bloom. There’s something for everyone in this episode!

Apologies for some of the audio quality; we have some kinks to work out when we use Skype to record like we did today. Kinks don’t scare us in the least.

Okay, need to finish packing AND need to help my partner, Glen Retief, with setting up readings for his soon to be published memoir, The Jack Bank. Oh, and I need to pre-order my copy of David Weekley’s new book! In from the Wilderness is David’s story about being a female to male (FTM) transsexual and Methodist minister and what happens when he comes out to his children, his church, and the world.

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Queer and Queerer Ep. 23 – Facials, Fem-Bashing, and Promoting Homosexuality

Zack and Peterson are still getting along, don’t worry! This week, after listening to a ranting voicemail from the ineffable Marvin Bloom about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, they talk about the mysterious concept of “promoting homosexuality.” From the UK’s Section 28 to hands-off bullying policies in United States schools, the idea of erasing gay people from society has been a signature strategy for anti-gay opponents, with deadly consequences. The enshrined invisibility of gay people continues to foster not just homophobia, but gender norms and expectations. Join another rousing conversation with your own comments on the post and on our Facebook wall!

The Queer and Queerer Podcast!

Listen to this week’s episode

Here’s some more information about what we talked about this week:

» Zack’s posts about the DADT decision and recent teen suicides.

» Key findings of GLSEN’s latest climate study.

» Chronicle report on the higher ed climate survey.

» Learn about the UK’s Section 28 law.

» Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation on Amazon.com.

» Check out Peterson’s new play: “I Can See Sarah Palin From My Window,” premiering this weekend in Allentown!

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Queer and Queerer Ep. 22 – Reeking of Faith

Zack talked about atheism with Marvin back in Episode 6, and now it’s Peterson’s turn to talk about faith as a Christian and a Quaker. Then, the two delve into the muck in this extended episode! The Zack-Peterson rapport’s gotten particularly spicy! In this exciting discussion, Zack challenges Peterson about faith and Peterson challenges Zack about his (lack of) faith. Of course it goes unresolved… to be continued another day. Share your own thoughts about faith on the Queer and Queerer post or on the Queer and Queerer Facebook page!

The Queer and Queerer Podcast!

Listen to this week’s episode

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Coming Soon: I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window

Christine Bakke just designed this poster for my new play I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window! Lessons Before the Second Coming. Click on the poster for a larger image. Premiere : September 18, 2010

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Queer and Queerer Ep. 8 – Bullying and the (Super) Power of Words

Here’s the impending scene: Peterson vs. hundreds of middle schoolers in an epic cage match! So, he turned to Zack to get his juices flowing about positive ways to get young people thinking about bullying and how to treat each other with more respect. In this roving episode, we talk about not only bullying, but also the challenge of invisibility, the power of words for good and for evil, Constance McMillen and her prom drama, “faggot,” “no homo,” and even Jason Mraz makes a cameo. You’ll also get to hear Peterson’s “Identity Monologue.” After you’ve listened, we hope you’ll share your own thoughts or experiences regarding bullying and any ideas you have for engaging young people in conversations about respect!

The Queer and Queerer Podcast!

Listen to this week’s episode:

// Here’s some more information about what we talked about this week:

» Learn more about the documentary Peterson reference, “Straightlaced.”

» Read Zack’s post about the word “faggot.”

» Jason Mraz offers his support of Harvey Milk Day and shares some of his own experiences of discrimination.

» Chocolate can help fight aging?

» Even though we didn’t talk about it on the podcast, a study came out this week suggesting that bullying is “good” for kids and that responding in turn somehow demonstrates social maturity. We’re skeptical, and the study definitely doesn’t mention anything about teen suicide, a very real consequence of bullying. For more info about LGBTQ suicide prevention, please check out The Trevor Project.

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NEW Ex-Gay Survivor Projects

The Homo No Mo Halfway House DVD

One of the most exciting features I see among many ex-gay survivors is the many ways we seek to process our experiences through art, be it theater, film, visual art, writing, music, etc. Through the act of writing and then performing my one-man play Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House–How I Survived the Ex-Gay Movement, (now available only on DVD) I grew to understand my story better as both connected with others about their own and communicated to the broader world about the potential dangers of ex-gay therapy (as well as the inherent humor in some ex-gay programs.)

Last June I began a memoir–new genre and in some ways a new story, as I will not only share my time at the Love in Action ex-gay program, but also write much about my failed marriage and the myriad reasons I went ex-gay. I have about 100 pages complete and will work on it throughout the summer. Last week I also began a stint as co-host of a NEW podcast with blogger Zack Ford. It’s called Queer and Queerer, and no doubt I will talk about my sordid ex-gay past along with other LGBTQ issues, religion and higher education.

In 2007 and 2008 Beyond Ex-Gay focused on regional, national and international events. Once we got the movement going with the voices of ex-gay survivors in the media and on-line, we turned our attention toward community and the important question, how can we best support ex-gay survivors as they process their own past experiences and embrace their new lives. In 2009 we created the Beyond Ex-Gay Community site, an on-line social networking site ONLY for ex-gay survivors. Membership has steadily grown, but more importantly ex-gay survivors are sharing their experiences in a venue with other folks who understand the complexity of the ex-gay world, the lure it once held for us, the damage it caused many of us, and the creative and at times challenging ways we have discovered to overcome that trauma while holding onto any good we may have gotten from our time in the ex-gay world. Art has been an important means of recovery for some of us. Christine Bakke and others have done lots of visual art about ex-gay experiences and poets like Scott Tucker have posted their poetry over at the bXg site.

Daniel Gonzales, an ex-gay survivor who has attended most of the Beyond Ex-Gay events in the past three years and whose YouTube video in which he shares his story has had over 130,000 hits, recently sat down with former founder of Exodus International and now ex-gay survivor, Michael Bussee and here shares the first of many to be released videos interviews.

I know of two new works by ex-gay survivors.

NEW BOOK! by Dr. Jallen Rix

Jallen Rix, Ph.D, an active member of Beyond Ex-Gay, who attended the Ex-Gay Survivor Conference in Irvine, CA, the Ex-Gay Exposé in Denver and the recent Anti-Heterosexism Conference in Miami, has published a book called Ex-Gay No Way! Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse.

Jallen Rix, as a young Southern Baptist, joined an ex-gay ministry when he discovered his same-sex attractions. Although the ministry did not make him heterosexual, it did manage to destroy any sense of stability and self-esteem.

Ex-Gay No Way is Dr. Rix’s journey through the ex-gay world and what he did in the aftermath to reintegrate positive sexuality with healthy spirituality. Further, he demonstrates that the tactics used in these oppressive environments are many of the same damaging schemes used everywhere in power-abusive religious organizations today.

Check out more at his site and order your copy HERE or at Amazon.

Jason T Ingram, who attended and displayed art at the 2008 Deconstructing the Ex-Gay Myth events in Memphis, has created a new one-person, multimedia performance art piece called Identity Thieves which will premiere on April 25th in Seattle, WA. Over at his site Jason has lots of info about the piece including some video.

NEW PERFORMANCE ART by Jason T. Ingram

About three years in the making, Identity Thieves is a multi-media performance piece written and performed by Jason T. Ingram about his five-year journey through the “ex-gay” movement and how he survived. Jason integrates his singing and instrumental live music with background accompaniments and visual projections of stills and film clips. Jason’s goal is to raise awareness about these issues as well as to help others heal from religious abuse and to show that creative expression can be a powerful outlet for growth and recovery. The complete piece without intermission should be just over an hour and may be done with a brief discussion following. Jason’s style is artistic, edgy and uplifting. Some of his music sounds aggressive as well as gentle and most of his works do not resemble church culture, but tries to stay cutting edge

If you are in the Seattle area, check it out.

Living Water Fellowship – 7204 NE 175 ST, Kenmore, WA 98028 – 206-963-0807

What other projects are out there by ex-gay survivors. Please feel free to share your projects with the bXg community, and congratulations to Jallen and Jason!

If you are an ex-gay survivor (someone who attended ex-gay treatment and/or tried on your own to suppress or change your orientation and/or gender differences only to discover that such a change was not necessary, possible or healthy, consider becoming a part of the Beyond Ex-Gay Community.

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Twyla Tharp Slept Here

Yesterday I arrived in  Tacoma for my week as University of Puget Sound’s Artist in Residence. They comfortably settled me into the Trimble Guest Room, a cozy accommodation replete with imported Chinese rosewood furniture and delicious satiny sheets. Choreographer and dancer Twyla Tharp stayed her in February 2008 when she gave a lecture on campus. I adore Tharp and her work and get a creepy artistic thrill at lying in the same bed that supported her graceful frame.

The producer of my event, Jane Brazell, has organized a series of performances and classroom appearances that will showcase two presentations while also giving me a chance to connect with both theater and religious studies students (and lots of LGBTQ folks).

As I look over the week I am especially pleased about three theater classes I will teach on Tuesday. Often on campuses I teach classes but typically in subjects like Sexuality, Gender Studies, Sociology or Religion. I hardly ever get to do theater classes. You have to understand that in many universities the theater department doesn’t take kindly to a full-time performance artist who circumvents the tradition theater trajectory. But on this trip I will get to present to theater students about the work of a solo artist, the process of character development and the steps I take when building a play.

On Thursday I will also hang out in a Shakespeare class where we will focus on gender and the Bard. When I studied theater at City College in NYC back in the early 1980’s I was most drawn to modern classics by Ibsen, Strinberg, Shaw and O’Neil, mostly the most serious and tragic plays and to Shakespeare. I even got coaching from actress Diane Venora who had just completed her run as the first female Hamlet on Broadway. I wanted to be a SERIOUS actor doing SERIOUS plays. I wanted nothing to do with comedy.

Tonight  at Tacoma’s Rainbow Center I will perform excerpts from my comedy Queer 101–Now I know my gAy,B,Cs. In it I look at homophobia, identity and activism through the words and lives of lesbian and gay poets. I imagine I will also mention my own sordid past of trying desperate to be anything BUT a homosexual. I wholeheartedly believed that gender-normative straight men were more valuable than me, and I did everything in my power (and God’s) to change all that. The process weakened me considerably, but I did live to tell the story and to analyze why someone might spend so much time, money and effort to annihilate a part of themselves.

Tomorrow I will perform on campus Doin Time with Peterson Toscano, a variety show of sorts with performance arts bits mixed it. I give the audience a sampling of excerpts from most of my plays and also perform monologues specifically created for this presentation including my new Rainbow Monologue. I believe Marvin Bloom will also make an appearance and tell his story about his encounter with Samson. (It’s not what goes in your butt that makes you gay; it’s what’s in your heart.) Of course I will also share material from my newest (yet to be premiered) play, I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window! Lessons Before the Second Coming.

Wednesday is the BIG night with a special performance of  Transfigurations–Transgressing Gender in the Bible. It will include “inserts” between scenes when members from the trans community (turns out all male-identified trans people) will take a few minutes to read their poetry or share a moment from their lives. We are celebration Transgender Day of Visibility, and I am very excited to see how these men’s contributions will add to the evening and my performance.

I also get to spend time in a religion class where we will discuss gender non-conforming Bible characters and saints. The professor has done research and presentations around “transvestite Saints.” I imagine I will learn a thing or two.

As some of us met last night to consider the goals, expectations and hopes for the week, a strong and passionate ally to the transgender community made a mistake. We sat together on a couch. She was on my right and turned to the trans man on my left and then called him a female name. I imagine it was his birth name, the first name she learned associated with him. She immediately apologized, and we spoke briefly about how this happens and what we can do when this happens. Often it is an innocent mistake–using the wrong the name or pronoun after having used a different one for a time. Other times it is beyond a mistake, particularly when it seems someone does not try to use the correct name or pronoun and there is an attitude of intolerance coming off of the offender.

In my immediate family we all have long names. My oldest sister is Nardina, but we have always called her Dina. My sister Maria has always been Marie to my parents, and my family and school friends have always known me as Peter. I get that some family and childhood friends don’t call me Peterson. I have never asked them to do so, and I don’t mind because it reminds me of a special intimacy we share. BUT when people I meet today or who write about me on their blogs or in e-mails or in news stories refer to me as Peter, well I feel like they are talking about someone else. I feel like they are being rude. I feel they disrespect me.

What do we do when someone in our community refuses to use the correct name or pronoun? A transgender man in Hartford told me that he had been active in the gay male community for years before he came out to his gay friends as trans. He said suddenly people who ONLY ever knew him as male started screwing up pronouns. He told me how much that hurt, how he felt invalidated, disrespected and unaffirmed by his own community.

What can we do? A passive-agressive side of me (mixed in with my teacher side) wonders if we should give the offender a dose of their own medicine. How about a assign them a new name that is usually used for a different gender? How about I also use some new pronouns. So Chet  becomes Samantha and she is soooo unhappy about it. It might just get the point across. But it may be also practicing a form of violence. I’ll have to think about it.

Last night as we sat on couches together in the tense moment after a person was mis-named, I saw community and relationship at work. These are folks who are on a journey together. They both have transitioned in a public way–one female to male, the other unaware/uninformed lesbian to engaged and passionate ally to transgender people. They trust each other. They can talk. She apologized. He accepted. I suggested, “Hey, maybe every time someone messes up on a name, they have to pay $10. For misplaced pronouns–$5.” (of course the amounts can adjust according to the means of the people involved) From my right to my left $10 passed. Trans Action complete.

I have a good feeling this is going to be an excellent week.

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Oh the Places You’ll Go–In Just One Week!

Job of the Week

After a few days rest from the wonders of Oslo, I head off this morning on Amtrak for the beginning of a three week jaunt that will take me to (in order) Hartford, CT, Philadelphia, PA, Boston, MA, Providence, RI, Seattle WA. That’s week one 🙂 Actually once I get to Washington State I settle for a week in Tacoma at University of Puget Sound as their Artist in Residence.

First I have some other presentations to do. On Saturday night I will give a speech at the Connecticut Outreach Society Banquet.

The Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) is a support group for transgendered individuals and their spouses or significant others. Membership in COS is open to all crossdressers, transsexual ( both MtF and FtM ) and gender variant individuals, spouses, and significant other of legal age regardless of gender, race, creed, or sexual orientation as well as to interested medical and mental health professionals. We provide a safe place where crossdressers and transgender individuals may meet and socialize. We meet twice monthly in the Hartford area with members from all over Connecticut as well as from southern Massachusetts.

I know a few people who will attend, so it will be a reunion of sorts for me since moving from Hartford in January. I get to see fellow blogger Diana in her little corner of the Nutmeg State. (She’s going to be my ride and let me know if I am wearing the appropriate ensemble) My topic: Why the LGB NEEDS the T.

We do not need any reason or motivation to do justice work other than someone is being mistreated. Period. We don’t have to relate to them or their story or their identity.  It should be enough that injustice is happening somewhere. But sadly in this capitalistic age  minorities compete for a place at the table and oppressions get recreated around the table based on class, race, gender, gender presentation and orientation (woe to the bisexuals at the table who never get passed the mashed potatoes.) As my friend Tania in the UK commented to me,

There are two obvious  reasons T should be part of LGB

• we have the same enemies and adversaries who make no distinction between out sub-groups,
• we are fighting for the same or similar rights and respect with marriage, healthcare, job security etc

In addition to those two, I will highlight others. Not that the trans folks present don’t already know this, but as part of justice work, I think it is important that I state it publicly (and will continue to state it over the next several months in other presentations and writing.)

On Sunday I will do a performance at Friends Central School of Queer 101–Now I Know My gAy,B,C’s. I will spend the whole of Monday at this Philadelphia Quaker school doing a variety of presentations. According to my agent’s schedule (he is so efficient!)

8:30 – 9:00 – Set up in Meeting Room with Josh (faculty light and sound man)

9:00 – 10:00 – Speak on faith journey as a Quaker in all-school assembly in Meeting Room

10:00 -10:40 – Meet with Al’s all-senior class on “Sex and Society” in the Meeting Room

11:00 -11:55 – Break and tour of campus with GSA core team

11:55- 12:30 – Lunch with Middle School Teachers in Room 10.

12:30 – 1:10 – Lunch with Gay-Straight Alliance and interested Quaker Young Leader Students in Dining Hall (I get TWO lunches! That’s my kinda school)

1:10 – 1:50 – Meet with Robyn’s “Quakerism” Classes back across the hall in the Meeting Room.  – 2 classes combined.

1:50 – 2:30 p.m – Meet with students in the Writing Workshop in Wood 22.

2:30 – 3:10 p.m . – Debrief with Robyn and Al in Wood 25.

I have already begun working on my faith journey as a Quaker talk, and feel especially pleased to present it to a group of high school students since it was Quaker high schoolers (the Young Friends) who helped me to salvage my faith after my catastrophic breakup with Evangelicalism.

Peterson about to Transfigure

The next morning I will do a presentation on bullying over at Abington Friends Middle School. Then I head back up the East coast to Boston. On Wednesday March 24th I will present Transfigurations Transgressing Gender in the Bible at Northeastern University. See details here. For those of you who do not know, this play explores the stories and lives of gender non-conformist in the Bible and the world today. I play multiple characters and multiple genders. While in Boston I will also get to worship at Cambridge Friends Meeting for their mid-week service AND I get to hang out with my friend Wendy, a grounded, thoughtful and wise Friend.

From Boston I shoot over (up? down?) to Providence to present Doin’ Time with Peterson Toscano at Brown University. In this show I get to do a bunch of excerpts from four different plays (including the newest I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window!) My Friend Elizabeth has been trying to get me to Brown for some time, so I am thrilled it is happening at last!

After Providence I fly to Seattle, WA where I will spend the weekend with a fellow Ex-Gay Survivor and his partner. He had been through many ex-gay experiences and has done a lot of work to reclaim his life and undo the damage. Ron and I always have deep conversation and great food. I always walk away feeling affirmed.

On March 28 I head to Tacoma where I will serve as Artist in Residence for University of Puget Sound. Similar to my time at Warren Wilson College in February, at UPS I will teach classes, perform and connect with students. On March 31 as part of Transgender Day of Awareness, I will perform Transfigurations, but inserted between each scene individuals from the trans community with share something from their lives. Included in the presenters will be David Weekley, a pastor from Portland who came out trans to his congregation last year, and a wonderful poet from Seattle named Cole. We did this in Seattle for TDOR and it deepened the performance considerably.

David Weekley

In addition to seeing David’s wife Deborah on the 31st, (and I think seeing Kriss from Portland) I ALSO have the added pleasure of hanging out all week with my friend Jane, who like me survived Pentecostal Holiness church experiences, and who has a wicked sense of humor. (We really need to have a camera in the car with us as we whirled around and spin off into all sorts of crazy characters and do improv as we get lost–I’m sure our former oppressors would see that as a metaphor 😛 ) She is the mastermind behind my visit and is the world’s best stage manager (at the Seattle TDOR she jumped in last minute to do my pre-show speech since I couldn’t do a voice over).

Thanks to the efforts of Laura, someone I know from Tacoma who contacted me via Facebook, I will also do a presentation at the Rainbow Center.

The Rainbow Center is a safe, accessible and welcoming community space for meetings, activities and events that strengthen the lives of people in our community. We support Greater Pierce County by providing a centralized source of information and referral for and about the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities. We provide visibility to the history, culture and diversity of our communities.

Maybe I will do my new Rainbow Monologue that I premiered at TransFormAZ last spring. In it I express my grief after years of gender policing and oppression by religious leaders and organizations only to find similar patterns of oppression exercised and rigidly maintained by gay and lesbian people, spaces and organizations. In the monologue I share my shock and anger over this and join with the audience in committing to a community where “everyone has a place at the table. Everyone’s story is important, and we listen deeply to each other.” And when we see there is an injustice, we act.

You can see my whole performance schedule here. Feel free to send me notes via FB, comments or e-mails over the next two weeks. The road gets lonely at times and I get tired out easily. Even Joe Gee’s snarky remarks cheer me. 😛 And it will be good to be that much closer to Mila & Jayna (come up and see me ladies!)

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NEW PLAY: I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window!

In my spare time I have created a new play that I think you might like 😀

I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window!

Lessons before the 2nd Coming

Peterson Toscano

So that no American gets left behind, comic actor Peterson Toscano presents a zany,thought-provoking and surprising play.

(Think Dreams from my Mother meets Going Maverick with a Russian folk-pop interpretive dance too!)

Everything you need to know before Palin becomes president, Jesus returns or Obama destroys us all!

Some of you may remember my play The Re-Education of George W. Bush–No President Left Behind! Drawing on some that same material and adding new I have developed this new piece.  Do not let the title fool you–it is not a partisan piece or a Palin bashing. No, I take on issues that transcend party politics, issues that really matter.

Figure out how to become the worlds’ Sexist American in five simple steps! Well if sexy means being aware, informed and engaged about sexism, racism, homophobia, immigration, the environmentalism, war and our sordid past.

What I am most excited about is how this piece can play well on college campuses, particularly how it can be used to bring in people who may never have attended an LGBTQ-themed program before. Just like with my Bush play, there is no way of knowing from the outset that it contains lots of messages about LGBTQ issues as you can see from this wonderful poster that Christine Bakke designed (and she is designing the art for the new play too!)

So before it gets too late, consider booking this new show for your campus in the fall or next winter. Booking contact here.

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Refreshingly Exhausted: Activist in Residence Final Week

Warren Wilson pedestrian bridge

I successfully completed my third and final week at Warren Wilson College as their first ever Activist in Residence. (Read about Week One and Week Two.) It served as a week to windup a few things and even included a blowout birthday party for me replete with vegan cookies, cupcakes and a giant vegan chocolate layer cake from Rosetta’s Kitchen in Asheville. YUM! Leah McCullough did an AMAZING job of creating spaces for me to do my work and connect with students. I loved checking in with her daily and spending time with her in her office debriefing. I also enjoyed hanging out at the RISE office getting to know the folks there and the head of the RISE Project, Kelly Kelbel, who gave me a handmade notebook with envelopes. I’m using it as a travel journal for the next year. =)

In addition to gaining some weight from vegan treats during my time at WWC, I also gained some new insights and new ideas. The week began with a follow-up meeting to talk about the intersection and complications of sexuality and spirituality. I met with the Emmaus Christian group the week before where we walked through a few exercises to explore the topic, so we needed to debrief and discuss these further. We did this through a Chalk Talk, a wonderful protocol where we have a prompt on a white board or paper on the wall and everyone has a chance to write a word, phrase or draw an image in response. As people add their thoughts others can respond to these, connect ideas, ask and answer questions. The activity is done without speaking and gives participants a chance to see ideas and have them remain in the room. So often in traditional discussions ideas get lsot as the conversation builds, and often only a few share. We then discussed the Chalk Talk together as a group.

From there I dashed over to another building to prep for my show that evening, Doin’ Time with Peterson Toscano, a variety, cabaret, performance art piece of sorts where I do excerpts from most of my plays along with some stories, poems, and other performances. Since the Wilson students are engaged in politics and environmental issues , I did four scenes from my retired play The Re-Education of George W. Bush–No President Left Behind! a political farce. I forgot how much fun it feels to perform this piece and how biting the satire and commentary can be. Looking at the current political landscape, I have begun to conclude that it is time to rework the play with a new title and some new themes then reissue it (like how Disney releases movies from their vault.) I have been toying with titles. Tell me which you like best (or propose one of your own.) The play operates as a series of lessons mostly aimed at progressive liberals (I’m trying to lure that crowd in with a provocative title where they think they will get something they won’t really get but instead get something more necessary) In a way it is a primer for how to be a good American and world citizen taking issues of sexism, racism, skin privilege, oppression of LGBT folks, environmentalist tied into diet, foreign policy and more. Some possible titles

• Bridge to No Where & Beyond
• Everything You Should Know before Jesus Returns (or Palin Becomes President)
• I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window
• How to Become the World’s Sexiest American in 5 Easy Steps
• I Can See Sarah Palin from my Window–What You Should Know before Jesus Returns
  

You get the idea.

The next evening I got to take part in the Queer Circle (a project of the EMPOWER Crew) and led an activity that allowed us to explore and express our multiple identities. Each person got a bunch of post-it notes. On each one they wrote one of their identities (gay, son, vegan, Quaker, New Yorker, etc) They then put the post-its on the wall grouping as they went next to other post-its that they felt where similar to their own (Quaker, Catholic, Wiccan, Jewish.) We carry so many identities that often get lost in LGBTQ circles or church circles or family circles. Later in the week I did this same activity with a Sociology class. The fancy name for the activist is Affinity Protocol.

The next day I joined in for a class that looked at the impact of society on the family. I spoke about homophobia, heterosexism and the Ex-Gay Movement and how all if these affect the family in huge ways. Some of the material I drew from my articles

• Can My Gay Child Change? (great for parents who pressure their queer off-spring to go straight)
• What about the Parents?
• What about the Spouse?

The negative effects of homophobia and heterosexism on the family are tremendous and tragic. If we want stronger families in our communities, we need to have full liberation and acceptance of LGBTQ people. This way parents do not have to keep secrets, grow distant or worse yet coerce loved ones into dangerous treatments.

I was supposed to leave on the Thursday, but they presented the Vagina Monologues that night and so many people I had gotten to know were it in, I just had to stay an extra day. Have you seen the Vagina Monologues yet? What an amazing and insightful show. I think every guy in America (and beyond) should see it. As a male-bodied, male-identified person, I miss so much of what happens in the lives of women. This play gives a few short sketches of the challenges, the humor, the dangers that come from being women in a world that perpetuates so much violence and oppression against women.

Before the Vagina Monologues though I got to hear Clarissa Sligh speak and share some slides of her amazing work as a photographer and visual artist. Her latest book is entitled Wrongly Bodied: Documenting Transition from Female to Male. As a female-bodied, female-identified person, the lives of transgender and transsexual individuals was foreign to Sligh. I love how she modeled the journey to become an informed ally of trans people.

That same day (full day I know) I led a group of students on a field trip to area Christian bookstores. I think there were five members of the Peace and Justice and the Religious Life crews who joined me as we browsed Christian bookstores first to simply see what they offered. For progressive liberals the Evangelical conservative person becomes objectified and dehumanized in our Tweets and comedy and rants. I thought it would be helpful to explore the bookstores and get a sense of what sort of books and topics are represented. They also had an assignment. When a staff members asks, Can I help you find something? the student replies, Yes, what sort of resources do you have for gay Christians? (or lesbian or transgender or bisexual.)

As I expected nothing outrageous occurred during this exchange. Also as I expected the stores had no LGBTQ-affirming resources. What I did not expect was that they also did not have any overtly anti-gay or ex-gay literature either. This is the FIRST time that has happened. Hmmm, perhaps change is coming. Both of the stores are major national franchises. Some of the students had never been in a Christian bookstore before and were surprised at the affinity they had with some of the topics and merchandise. I nearly bought The Little Princess Devotional Bible (with a genuine plastic pear necklace for a handle!) I did buy a DVD of Veggie Tales: Esther, The Girl Who Became Queen, which I found disappointing and below the standard of most of the Veggie Tales. No surprise but the eunuchs (the hero/sheros of the story) get practically erased and show up in the form of some peas. I couldn’t finish it and left it behind in a hotel room in Chattanooga the next week.

I left campus on the Friday after leading the Affinity Protocol activity on identity for Sociology 101 and headed with my host Roger to Asheville to perform at Jubilee Community, a funky congregation in downtown Asheville. Roger was a wonderful host (we went hiking along the Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway the next day and ate sinfully delicious vegan chocolates) and did a great deal to get the word out about the play, but sadly the turnout was poor and nearly no one from Jubilee attended. I didn’t feel personally hurt by this but offended that this progressive community did not turn out for a transgender-themed event. I attended the early service on Sunday (they have two) and saw well over 250 people there and lots of lesbian couples and some gay men. Someone told me that he heard a few people say they didn’t think they needed to come because the church is so welcoming. Ah, welcoming is not the the same as informed and affirming. I venture to guess that most of the congregants know very little about the lives of transgender people. I realize this issue is not on the radar of most LGB people and LGB-affirming people, but unlike most other issues, it needs to be, especially if we tag on a “T” to the LGB. This is a matter of integrity and justice. That and the non-trans LGB people and LGBT-affirming institutions impoverish themselves by remaining ignorant and unengaged regarding transgender issues and lives. I especially felt for Roger, a non-trans gay man in the congregation who put his heart and soul into putting together an event for his community but did not get proper community support in the end. He got the building, he got permission, he got two or three helpers, but no community. We need to change that.

Scene from Transfigurations

After a weekend in Asheville, I headed with a friend to Cookeville where I spent time with some of the coolest people on the earth at the Hidden Springs Farm and Nursery. Oh the popcorn they serve! From there I went to Chattanooga and did a performance of Transfigurations–Transgressing Gender in the Bible for the Spectrum group and folks from the area. The room was a big challenge–a large old lecture hall that was climatically challenged (This room is too hot. Now it’s too cold. Funny it is never just right,) but it revealed to me once again that theater can and should happened anywhere. The audience grew so still and hushed by the last quarter of the play. It felt sacred.

My last stop was Baltimore where I did a day-long training for the Soulforce Equality Rides. This is a group of college-age folks who are going to Christian colleges to engage in thoughtful discussion around queer, transgender, bisexual, lesbian, gay issues. I spoke about the Ex-Gay Movement and helped them try to unearth the many reasons someone might opt for this choice. So many of the reasons have nothing to do with Jesus or faith. Mixed in with noble intentions can be lots of ignoble things like fear, the desire to fit in and be “normal” and well cowardice. It’s odd because I think it takes someone who is both courageous and a coward to be ex-gay along with a willingness to question reality and attempt to create a new reality. I admire many ex-gays, having been one myself, for the determination to change while also recognizing the complexity that desperation so often brings to the process. I also led a workshop called Slow Dancing with the Enemy–Effective Strategies for Engaging you Opponent. Very much inspired by the groundbreaking work and philosophy of Bonnie Tinker, a lesbian Quaker anti-war, marriage equality activist from Portland (sadly she died this past summer, and I miss her very much.)

Bonnie Tinker

I also performed Transfigurations for the Equality Riders. This group practices radical inclusion in a way that many LGBTQ groups do not. Of the 20+ riders, at least four are trans identified, and they have a nice mix of ethnicity, orientation, background. They serve as a helpful model for other groups that struggle to be diverse in more than name.

Now I am home at last in Central PA with my partner Glen and our two cats Wally and Emma (named after the famous  anarchist Emma Goldman whose important essay on anarchism I got in zine form at Warren Wilson College from a deliciously gender-queer boi bear wonder.) Glen and I just celebrated our 85 birthday (he turns 40 on March 8th and I turned 45 on Feb 17) with friends at a nearby Japanese restaurant. Ah, how rich we are with friends here! What a diverse and eclectic group too! Poet Karla Kelsey was there and religion scholar Carol White and radical rabbi Nina Mandel along with our travel partner to South Africa Jenna Fredricks and her soon to be husband Dave Antoniewicz and other dear folks who celebrated us with kind words and lovely gifts (although we insisted no gifts but hey gifts are fun and Nina’s vegan chocolate was AMAZING–the third vegan cake in this year’s Birthday season.)

Glen and I head out on Friday to present at Homo og trans–Meningsløse kategorier? a conference in Oslo (and where I will do some performances) but first we have a 2.5 day layover in Paris meaning Glen will be in Paris AND Oslo on the same day for his birthday! Hm, I wonder if I can brush up on my French AND learn Norwegian by the weekend 😛

Lots of venues coming up in March and April in Hartford, Providence, Boston, Tacoma and beyond. You can see the full schedule here.

I so valued my time at Warren Wilson but especially time with students, so many who mean a great deal to me–Erin and Zoe and Jamila and Morgan and Renee and Liz and Rey and Leah and Hannan and Michael and Lacey and Ilinca and Sabrina and Laura and Meghen and Robin and Katherine and Brandon and Hillary and Shane and well MANY.

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Radical in Residence?!? Week 2 at Warren Wislon

On a snowy day (one of many since I arrived in Asheville over two weeks ago) as I was about to slip into the campus swimming pool to do my laps, one of the lifeguards say, “Hey, you’re the radical in residence!” Actually my official and quite pretentious title is Activist in Residence.  My most radical achievement that cold and blizzard day was stripping down to my bathing suit and getting into the pool at all.

The Homo No Mo Halfway House

My second week at Warren Wilson College was PACKED (you can read about week one here. ) It included a Religion class discussion about integrity and honesty, particularly in relation to honesty about oneself and one’s identity. I mentioned that as a matter of integrity I still identify as a Christian. It would be dishonest to deny that reality as my faith and practice have been so deeply influenced by the teachings and life of Jesus (as we have it recorded) and my time in various Christian communities. Integrity is an important feature of Quakerism where we have a Testimony of Integrity that has greatly shaped our history and actions.

Advice/Query 37 of Britain Yearly Meetings Faith and Practice (see the whole list here) raises questions and provides guidance for Quakers:

Are you honest and truthful in all you say and do? Do you maintain strict integrity in business transactions and in your dealings with individuals and organisations? Do you use money and information entrusted to you with discretion and responsibility? Taking oaths implies a double standard of truth; in choosing to affirm instead, be aware of the claim to integrity that you are making.

I also took part in a creative non-fiction class where we discussed my piece Lazarus and his Grave Clothes. In addition to provided quotes from John Henson’s delicious version of the New Testament, I weave in the story of Lazarus’s liberation from his grave with my own coming out narrative. I also get to make zombie references! In the class we discussed how we can use existing stories as metaphors for our own experience. Cathy Reid, the professor of the class, explained a super exercise to do this. She said write out a brief narrative of your life. Then write up the details of another story from literature (or I guess history too) that serves as a metaphor for your narrative. Then physically cut up the two narratives and paste them together. Weave the two stories together to construct a personal essay.

I then led the class in a theater game that proved successful last year in a workshop I co-led with Allyson Robinson. I instructed the class to close their eyes and let their minds travel to a character either in their own lives or in literature. Once they settled on one, I then guided then through a process of imagining being that person physically. I had them morph their own bodies to conform to the body of that other person, to explore the character’s physical being. Then I had them stand, walk, talk and eventually interact with others as that character. When it was done we discussed what we discovered about the characters we inhabited and about ourselves.

Last week I also got to share some of the memoir I am writing, including much of a chapter I had never read publicly before called In the Lion’s Den with Only a Tuba. I felt particularly nervous and vulnerable as my voice in memoir is very different from any other voice I use when I tell my story on-line or in my play. I seek to strip away several layers of self. Although humorous in part, I do not seek to make people laugh. The humor comes off more as shocking and revealing creating a deadly serious tone. The 20 or so people assembled seemed to enjoy what I shared, that or they were just being polite.

During the week I also did some BRAND NEW presentations that I hope to share again elsewhere. One was a workshop which I then also did as a lecture later in the week at Guilford College in Greensboro, NC. The topic? Sex & Spirit–a lively look at the intersection of faith and sexuality. In addition to sharing how I developed a personal sexual ethic, I also talked about the Bible, (FUN FACT: Did you know that there is no verse in the Bible that condemns sex before marriage? Also some of the most important Bible characters got rewarded for having multiple sex partners) the proven need to physical intimacy and a probing expose of the sin of Sodom.Grrr.

Another presentation that was well-attended and received covered how to use technology and new media with our work for Social Justice. In Wired for Activism I provided ideas and case studies for how to effectively use Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, blogs, on-line comments and podcasts for ways to get new allies, inform and engage existing allies, and  organize actions. We also looked at ways we can counter arguments while inserting new language in the public discourse. To make the presentation even that much sweeter, Cale, one of the young activists responsible for organizing a creative and highly effective action in the summer of 2005 in Memphis, was present to talk about the work they around the Love in Action Refuge program and the teens forced to attend this “straight camp” against their will. You can check out this amazing video to see how they used technology to effect real change. (FYI, the young man, Zach, who first alerted his friends of the Refuge program I hear is doing very well in his life today)

I met with a group of male-identified people to discuss porn. Sadly some guys didn’t want to come after they heard the topic. I fear they expected a judgmental, shaming atmosphere. Shame because I wanted to have an open non-judgmental chat about our own personal histories with porn. (When was the first time you viewed porn?) and the purpose(s) it has served or seemed to have served in our lives. (Why do you or have you looked at porn?) For the few men who gathered, we had a thoughtful and fun discussion that got beyond opinion into personal reflection. Always a good place to start.

During the week I also offered a few public presentations that included lots of performance. I offered my lively lecture about ex-gay treatment and reparative therapy. In it I also talked about the nature of abuse, how if we are abused as children it can brand us, mark us with our abusers own shame and shameful behavior resulting in a complicated relationship we maintain with our own bodies and sexuality. In addition, I talked about trauma, and how those of us who have experienced it (be it at the Homo No Mo Halfway House, in our own harms or wherever) that we need to tell our stories with self-care in mind knowing that if we are not careful, we can re-traumatize ourselves. I also traveled off-campus to the UNC Asheville campus to do a variety show of sorts. They laughed, they cried, and it evening got very tender and personal. In this presentation I had some ideas of what I wanted to present, but through audience questions, I allowed myself to be flexible and present scenes that I had not intended to perform.

For the Religious Life and the Peace and Justice crews I led a workshop called, Slow Dancing with the Enemy–Effective Strategies for Engaging Your Opponent. One point I stressed is that when we engage with an “opponent” someone who stands on the other side of a particular issue who we hope to engage in thoughtful discussion leading to deeper understanding of the issues, we need to remember a key point. They will most likely not remember much of what we tell them, but they will also remember how they felt in our presence and how we treated them. If we allow our part of the exchange to be vulnerable, respectful, thoughtful–human–that may do more to influence people than any brilliant talking point we present (not that we should be shoddy in our presentation and facts.)

Peterson Toscano

As I mentioned above, I did go to Greensboro to present at Guilford College, but because of the snow nearly did not make it! On Friday I organized an escape from Witch Mountain, well the Wilson campus, where once the snow started to settled the roads got downright treacherous. I spent the night with friends closer to the bus station, only to find that there were NO buses going out on  Saturday morning. Disregarding the advice from my mother to my child self, I got into a stranger’s car and hitched a ride to Greensboro. It almost seemed as I stepped into a joke after we got to talking about our diverse faith backgrounds–A Conservative Roman Catholic, a Canadian-Egyptian Coptic Christian and a Queer Quaker get into a van together…  I sensed that the two folks in the front of the car viewed LGBTQ issues differently than I did. I actually even felt a pang of panic that once they heard my story and of my identity as a gay man doing a play about transgender Bible characters (which resulting in lively conversation) that they would dump me off at the side of the road. But hospitality trumped attitudes and beliefs that may have arisen from the greater culture wars swirling around us like the snow in the air. I believe we all learned something during that 3 hour+ journey and grew deeper in our understandings of “the other.”

I am certain I have left something out of the many activities of the week, but it is lunch time and Cow Pie Cafe will be serving up some amazing vegan wonder that I must not miss!

Perhaps the best parts of the past week included those one-on-one discussions with folks from Belfast to Birmingham (Alabama that is).  Although I am introverted in many ways (I lose energy and get off-balanced around a lot of people and need to be alone to find myself and my center again) I value and grow enriched by the personal exchanges I am privileged to have with the many people I meet on the road. Each day I learn something new, get challenged in my thinking and my living and see so much beauty and courage in the people around me. All that and vegan treats! I am one happy princess 😀

To get a listing of some of my talk, check out my talks and lively lectures page.
TONIGHT at 8 pm in Canon on the Wilson campus, I will perform Doin’ Time with Peterson Toscano, a variety show with a bunch of excerpts and never before seen material. I may even do a Russian Folk-Pop Interpretive dance!

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