Posts Tagged ‘Quaker Stuff’

Joe "not-so" Cool

Zack and Peterson are back together this week! And while Peterson is interested in conducting a sensible interview with our guest, Joe Gee, about being one of the earliest queer podcasters, Joe and Zack are more interested in spending the show busting on Peterson. Still, we manage to discuss Joe’s experiences podcasting, we “bump” a whole bunch of other shows, and Joe also talks about walking away from Quakerism and becoming a non-believer and humanist. Enjoy this raucous half-hour with your favorite queer podcasters back in action with puns and euphemisms galore!

The Queer and Queerer Podcast!

Listen to this week’s episode

// Here’s some more information about what we talked about this week:

» Teresa Ortega’s blog – In Sequence

» Yeast Radio featuring Madge Weinstein

» Queer Podder (now qpodder)

» The Progrum with Wanda Wisdom

» Ragan Fox’s Podcast (Fox and the City) and Blog (America’s Next Top Bottom)

» The Flatus Show with Kentie

» Hot Fossils and Rebel Matters with Ninja

» Zillafag

» Watch the Holy Ghost Enema video on YouTube!!

» Adam Curry (Podshow, by the way, is now Vimeo)

» Music Alley (formerly PodSafe)

» The Dark Forest (not Deep Forest) with Ranger John

» The Lesbian Mafia

» Feast of Fun

» Same Sex Sunday

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Cotswold stone wall

One of t the things I like about moving with the Quakers is the quality of questions we ask each other.  We have a long history of asking questions that cause of to reflect inwardly and outwardly.

For three decades (more?) queer Quakers have been meeting in North America under a variety of names that have changed as the group has changed and grown. Currently the Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC or as I like to say, Flibbity Gibbitz) meets each winter and summer for gatherings. (Next one is in February in New York State).

Last month I got involved with a lot of activism around transgender issues and particularly the inappropriate and offensive actions of some queer organizations and gay men. You can read about it at my post: Remembering Jorge while Forgetting what Binds Us to learn more.

Oliver Danni, a deliciously queer vegan transgender Quaker (and so much more) wrote a list of queries for the FLGBTQC to consider in regards to transgender inclusion in LGBT organizations. With Oliver Danni’s permission, I reprint the e-mail message here. Perhaps some of the reflections questions can contribute to the on-going discourse. Please feel free to copy any question and answer it in the comment section (or blog about it elsewhere!) There are some references to Quaker organizations and Quaker terms. You can learn about some of these terms here, but knowing them is not essential to appreciating Oliver Danni’s questions.

Peterson raised an interesting question on Facebook, and I thought it would be a good discussion for us to have here, too. His question,”What shall we do with all these GLb(t) organizations?”, lifts up the concern that amongst organizations which describe themselves as “GLBT”, it is common that only gay and lesbian people will be fully included, while bisexuals will be “kind of” included, and transgender people will not really be at all.

The discussion left me inspired to articulate some queries with which I have long since been dancing in this community, and once again I wish to invite you all to dance with me and my F/friendly queries. 🙂

  • What is your vision of a fully transgender-inclusive organization? What would that organization be doing? How would we evaluate that this organization had reached the same level of inclusiveness for transgender people as it had for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people?
  • In what ways do you feel that FLGBTQC has been successful in becoming a more fully transgender-inclusive organization?
  • In what ways do you feel that we could be more inclusive of transgender people in the FLGBTQC community?
  • What impact do you see FLGBTQC having currently on the inclusion of transgender people in the Quaker world (Meetings or churches, FGC, FUM, Quaker service organizations)? What is your vision of how we could have an even greater impact?
  • How has the ministry of FLGBTQC with regard to transgender people influenced you personally? How has your personal ministry influenced the FLGBTQC community’s inclusion of transgender people? (Yes, this question is flip-floppable!)

Please, respond to any of these queries which speaks to you, or to another to which you find yourself led. This is not a “survey” or assignment where you need to answer all the questions in essay form –just an invitation to some electronic worship sharing. 🙂

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What a whirlwind! A week ago Tuesday I flew to Vancouver, BC for seven PACKED days connecting with ex-gay survivors, dear friends and the main event–Evolve, a United Church of Canada weekend conference for young people grade 7 to md-30’s. The event went without a hitch with lots of fascinating and stimulating programming. I can’t believe how many cool people there are in the world that I get to meet weekly!

From Vancouver to “took the train” to Seattle, WA. Actually I took an Amtrak bus since the tracks got blocked by a landslide. Yikes. In Seattle I took part in the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Like last year at Seattles TDoR I presented my play Transfigurations–Transgressing Gender in the Bible, but this time I performed it in five segments. In between each scene someone from the transgender community shared briefly. David Weekley, a United Methodist minister from Portland who recently came out to his congregation and the world as a  transgender man, spoke and read a poem he wrote during his early days of transition over two decades ago. Cole Arden Peake performed spoken word (and rocked the house). My friend Jane introduced my play (and we got to hang out too!)

After the Seattle event, that same night I rode down to Portland with David Weekley and his wife Deborah. Ah, what a lovely chat we had on that three hour+ journey! In Portland I got to crash at Doug and Bruce’s place, the home of this amazing gay couple who always stock up on my favorite foods. I feel so loved and affirmed there.

Yesterday I mostly rested and prepped, but I also had lunch with Sarah, the partner of Bonnie Tinker, a dear Quaker friend and fellow activist who was killed in a bike accident this summer at the Friends General Conference of North American Quakers. Bonnie and Sarah were part of the Really Pissed Off Grannies and did so much amazing activism. I miss Bonnie so much.

In the evening I performed at the church where David and Deborah pastor. It was a packed house with folks from all over the Portland area–a very diverse audience of trans, non-trans, queer, non-trans and all ages. My uber cool friend Tommy Corn showed up too. This amazing queer straight guy who is a vegan and a recovering fundamentalist always supports my presentations in Portland (and brings me vegan treats). Got to see Deanna, Kriss, Gregg, Wes, Rebecca Nay and even Barbara, a woman my dad met in Italy earlier in the month.

Now I am in NYC waiting for my flight to Boston so that I can take part in the Transcending Boundaries Conference–my last performance of 2009. Like my luggage that gets cramped and stowed and has to be reclaimed on a dingy carousel, my soul is in transit, lagging slightly behind my body. It’s part of the territory. This morning I reflect on the Quaker query,

Bring the whole of your life under the ordering of the spirit of Christ. Are you open to the healing power of God’s love? Cherish that of God within you, so that this love may grow in you and guide you. Let your worship and your daily life enrich each other. Treasure your experience of God however it comes to you. Remember that Christianity is not a notion but a way.



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quaker_1At the Friends General Conference gathering (FGC) this summer and then again at the New England Yearly Meeting of Friends (NEYM) I got lots of Quaker action!  Sitting in silent worship for an hour at a time, some might think of it as Quaker inaction. Ah, but things happen, and often Friends (as Quakers refer to each other) offer long and ponderous messages (some quite brilliant and revelatory others a bit obtuse or simply a rehashing of something I had already heard on National Public Radio.) I joked more than once this summer that instead of Meeting for Worship, we need to establish Tweeting for Worship where if anyone stands up to offer vocal ministry, their message cannot exceed 140 characters. I’m bringing sexy plain speech back!

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a college student  who saw me perform at the William Penn House this past spring. She was in DC for an internship and has since returned home and is looking to connect with Friends in her area. She writes:

Hi Peterson. was wondering if you might talk to me a bit about the Friends meetings you’ve been part of since encountering and then becoming Quaker. I would like to link up with my local liberal group sometime this fall and so am asking the few Friends i know about their experiences. What might a lapsed evangelical expect that first visit and the first few times after that? What would not be so wise to expect? And, more personally, what has being part of the community brought to you?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

I love assignments. I spent time this morning thinking about her questions and reflecting on the many different Quaker meetings I have attended over the past eight years, mostly among what we call unprogrammed Friends, (Quakers who typically meet for an hour of silent worship with the opportunity for anyone present to speak out of the silence and present a short [or not so short] message.) Below is an edited version of my answer.


Dear ________,

all lovely questions. Hmm, well, I think the most challenging thing for folks with Evangelical pasts going into Quaker worship and spaces is that with Friends there is no stated creed or list of beliefs. Asking a Quaker, What do Quakers believe? will often get you blank looks. That or about 5 different answers for every three Friends you ask. It is not that we don’t individually believe in stuff, but corporately it is much more subtle than that. It is more about what you PRACTICE than what you PROFESS. We do maintain community values and even unspoken rules, but these I have found to be more pliable than anything I encountered in Evangelical churches.

quakersYou will find that Quakers are a quiet bunch and seemingly stuck with the PAUSE button on when it appears NOTHING is happening in a room full of people. Often there is no greeting or opening of any kind. Folks just sit down and settle in. At  first I found this both disconcerting and comforting. I thought, Wait, did we start? Did someone forget to do something? Sometimes during the worship time we have children in the meeting for the first 10 minutes or so or the last 10 minutes. They exit and enter with a flurry of delicious activity with hushes and smiles from the adults.

Most of the meeting time is maintained in relative silence and stillness. We sit. We wait. We cough. We fidget, well I do. We each have our own way of settling into the silence.  Sometimes individuals will give messages. Unlike in my Evangelical days when the sermon was the centerpiece of every service, I receive these Quaker messages with an open hand. If it speaks to me, fine. If not, I just settle back down to worship. I listen for what the Spirit has to say to me. We listen to what the Spirit has to say to us, and that is not always through a haiku about a math formula remembered during a walk in the snow towards the meeting house one winter morning (true story) 🙂

For me, although the “service” is so quiet and still, so much happens in Meeting for Worship. It becomes a pentecostal experience of sort with much inner activity (and yes extends beyond the gurgling in my stomach.) This may not be not true of everyone, but as I settle, let go of the many things vying for my attention, as I listen, I become aware of how much connection we have with each other. My mind and heart open up to God. I sit and let the Spirit do a scan disk of

Mwa mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah

Mwa mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah

my hard drive–my soul.  I bring a notebook so that I can jot down ideas and messages and comforts and reminders that come to me during the worship time. I feel as if when I am in these meetings a curtain gets parted or I break through a gauzy filmy wall, and I become more aware of the world around me, of what is important and what is not. It is in these meetings that quietly, gently new ideas and leading in new directions form for me. An interest becomes a concern and over time becomes a passion and a calling.

Be aware, unlike many Evangelical churches you may have attended with all the effusive greetings and outreach, Quakers can seem shy and even stand-offish. This is a group of many introverts, not all of course, but we have plenty, so if the first few times you don’t feel welcome, don’t take it personally. They warm up soon enough, particularly when it is time to nominate people for the various committees operating. I have had lovely reception especially among the British friends. I attended the Disley Meeting back in May and was greeted like a long-lost son.

At the end of meeting (we say the rise of meeting) look out for LOTS of announcements. Often this is a tedious affair although I recently attended the Friends meeting in Pittsburgh where the announcement time was downright celebratory and theatrical.  Many meetings also serve coffee or tea or sometimes pot luck at the rise of meeting post-announcements (consider it a reward for sticking it through the announcement time.) There will be vegetarian food and often vegan and gluten-free options. Again, during this social time people may seem strangely disinterested in you and may not even approach you. It is odd, but seems to happen a lot when I visit various meetings. Maybe I am just funny looking or suspect as someone who will drag a Friend into a long drawn out conversation.  I think this social aloofness is in part about being shy around religion and not pushing oneself or ones faith on another. Also, sometimes after a time of deep silent worship, I don’t feel ready to talk or engage much with others. I am a reflective state.

Disley Friends Meeting, UK

Disley Friends Meeting, UK

What worship among Quakers has brought to me has been a maturing of my faith. I often say that Quaker meeting for worship is church for adults. We don’t have the programming and the pomp and circumstance, the readings, the sermons,  etc provided for us. We have to make our own magic happen. We can’t jive off the hymns or the sermons which go on Sunday after Sunday at many churches with or without the Spirit. We sit, We wait, We hope, We fail, We wait some more, We listen, We hear, We change. It seems all so subtle but the changes in me have been profound. The peace and clarity and direction I have gotten as a result have astounded me.

For me it is the way I prefer to worship, but I recognize it is not the only way and not the best way for everyone. In its simplicity and directness, I find God present, which is especially astounding to me as a former Evangelical since so many people bring with them to meeting a variety of theologies. I come as a Christian, albeit it a queer and questioning one. Others come with affinity to all sorts of other traditions–Jewish, pagan, Buddhist, non-theist, etc. Meeting for worship at its best can be the leveling ground where like Paul said of Christ there are no gender, ethnic or social distinctions. This of course takes work within the community as we listen to the Spirit even in messages that are not worded according to our own tradition or inclination.

I hope you have a good experience in your first few Meetings for Worship. Oh, yeah, and you will hear lots of jargon. Quaker Speak. Just go with it. 🙂

If you live in North America and want to find a Quaker meeting near you, check out Quaker Finder. If you live in the UK check out the Quakers in Britain.   To read a bunch of Quaker blogs, see sweet and corny videos, meet some nice Quakers from all sorts of backgrounds, check out QuakerQuaker.

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Today much of the gay activism world and ex-gay survivors digest the expected but still very happy news that after a thorough two year review, the APA has announced that there is NO evidence in support of ex-gay therapy. Wayne Beson reports,

This conclusion did not surprise those of us who work with people who have been harmed by such programs. For example, I just interviewed Patrick McAlvey, who entered therapy to change his sexual orientation at the age of 19. His counselor, Mike Jones, is the director of Corduroy Stone, an affiliate of Exodus International.

McAlvey says that his sessions included prolonged hugs, the suggestion that he use handyman tools to increase his masculinity and questions about the size of his genitalia. There was also an episode of “holding therapy” where he reclined into the lap of his supposedly “ex-gay” counselor for an hour. The goal, according to McAlvey, was to get comfortable with his own manliness by “feeling the strength” and “smelling the smell” of another man.

What Jones and other ex-gay counselors routinely call “therapy” can seem a great deal like foreplay to the rest of us.

“I think it does a lot of damage to peoples’ mental health,” said McAlvey. “If I had had a fair representation (of gay life) I could have avoided a lot of suffering.”

I will take a look at the very large document over the weekend, but for now I will enjoy the final 18 hours of New England Yearly Meeting of Friends here in Smithfield, RI. Tonight is the BIG night with the community wide Coffee House sponsored by the Young Friends (YF=High School) where anyone can showcase their “talent.” Corny, sweet, intense and amazing, these performances get the crowd wild. Then the YF’s have their dance that goes to 2:30 in the morning. I had a sneak peek at the DJ’s play list. HOT!

We had our first shower today, which did not dampen the Frisbee playing and also gave us an hour for quiet activities indoors before it cleared up leaving everything sparlking. Below are some photos from the last 24 hours. I will write more tomorrow.

Nathan & helper making paper

Nathan & helper making paper

Alternative Transportation at NEYM

Alternative Transportation at NEYM

Original Masking Tape Art

Original Masking Tape Art

restful moment by lake (look out for geese poop)

restful moment by lake (look out for geese poop)

Table Display

Table Display

Amy & Allon prep for Coffee House

Amy & Allon prep for Coffee House

From YF's Meeting Room

From YF's Meeting Room

Young Friend Relax During Storm

Young Friend Relax During Storm

Meeting 4 Worshop w/ Attention 2 Business

Meeting 4 Worship w/ Attention 2 Business

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This afternoon I attended the Worship Sharing* group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) Friends, one of many worship sharing groups held each day of the New England Yearly Meeting of Quakers (NEYM) during our week-long gathering. Unlike the much larger North American gathering call Friends General Conference, which has a full program of LGBTQ activities organized by the Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC or as I like to call them the Flibity-Gibitz) this worship sharing is the only LGBTQ-specific programming during the New England gathering.

Among New England Quakers we have LOADS of LGBTQ folks. One of the lead couples in the landmark Marriage Equality lawsuit resulting in marriage for same-gender folks are Quakers from Northampton Meeting and will soon celebrate 20 years living as couple. Pretty much everywhere I turn in every group, commitee, meeting for worship, and dinning room table I see LGBTQ Quakers at this gathering.

I do find it odd at NEYM to enter an LGBTQ-designated space when so much of the gathering is queer. Even the straight Quakers here are queer–so many non-gender normative and exceptionally open people! Wse have little need for our own space because we are fully integrated into the community. Even among the high school Quakers (Young Friends) I find a safe healthy space for people to be honest about their gender identity/expression and their orientation. Straight athletic teen boys have no problems suggesting that for an upcoming Rest & Relaxation high school retreat the program might consider offering spa treatments including facials with cucumber eye masks. No one snickered when it was suggested. The other boys agreed it would be a super idea.  Another asked if they could do bread making again. In their discussions about sexuality, they are frank about their orientation, experimentation and questioning.

At NEYM I find that the LGBTQ people gather together because of our affinity with each other not because of the affliction of oppression leveled against us by the majority population making it necessary to seek refuge. We don’t have to meet in order to survive or to assert a part of ourselves that we must hide in all other spaces. And as a result, we grow, we thrive, we serve and strengthen the community. You will find one or more of us on nearly every committee and working in the youth programs with infants to high schoolers. Some of us have our own children in these programs. We’re part of the furniture and the fabric of this gathered community.

We are becoming old news which is good news–post-LGBTQ–with the queer part of us being just that, a part of us, an important part with a rich and sometimes challenging history, but still only a part of the whole integrated person. You will not find most of us even taking on LGBTQ issues. We are freed up to actively contribute to disccusion and action on issues of torture,  earth care, myriad peace and social justice concerns, Quaker outreach and so much more. Since we don’t have to expend all of our energy living in closeted stealth mode or fighting for our right to belong, we instead use that energy to contribute to the community.

This week at sessions most LGBTQ folks will not atteend the LGBTQ worship sharing. Those who do, like I did today, will most likely experience blessing and fellowship and friendship. And those who don’t enter this designated LGBTQ space will also find the same in multiple places without having to compromise who they are in order to be full members of the community.

*from the LGBTQ Worship Sharing handout.

About Worship Sharing. This is a process to enable deep meaningful sharing to take place in a non-judgmental atmosphere. One person shares, distilling the promptions of the Spirit on a subject (perhaps but not necessarily, related to the themeof Yearly Meeting or an experience at Sessions) into a single statement, speaking from their won experience. Others actively listen. The contribution is received and reflected on in the silence. Everyone gets a turn to speak. There is no immediate response, no debate or discussion but a period ofsilence between contributions.

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RP Nathan holding a song book

RP Nathan holding a song book

It’s my third day  (and the second official day) at New England Yearly Meeting of Friends (NEYM). This is the first FULL day of sessions with a large intergenerational worship service in the morning and Capture the Flag in the afternoon. In preparation for the morning worship the junior high Friends put on a skit highlighting the need to thoughtfully consider a message before standing up and sharing it during the sacred silence of the meeting. Though lighthearted it seemed to have a profound effect as evidenced by the lack of messages about Friend’s cats and favorite poems or a rebroadcasting of a recent National Public Radio segment that a Friend found interesting. The worship remained centered with insightful and challenging messages.

Today I decided to record in my journal things I heard around me during worship, meals, meetings, etc so that I could share these with you on the blog.  It is not exactly a “found poem” but a sampling of some of what was said so far today at gathering.

Do not sing that again!
-mother to child as child resumes singing the “Lego Song” during breakfast

Greetings Friend!

-a Quaker woman in a bonnet to me as she enters meeting for worship

I’m heading into silent meeting so I gotta get off the phone
-overheard cell phone conversation as usher points dramatically to a cell phone he’s displaying as Friends gather for worship. (Even so someone’s cell phone went off TWICE!)

Jubilee is a time for preparing, for emptying of oneself and opening to God.
-intro to the Junior Young Friends (JYM) skit

It’s very complicated and depressing. I don’t think this is the time or the place to share it.
-said with a deadpan delivery. Advice from the “Worship Fairy” when a Friend considers reading a poem in meeting for worship (part of the JYM skit)

Can’t we just stay on the floor?
– feeble and fruitless plea of high school student when told they must sit in chairs for the next 90 minutes of worship after sitting on the floor for the first hour

God is not calling me to be the judge of the message but to follow that voice I hear. Let us return to that practice.
-spontaneous message during meeting for worship

Friends, do we hold out the possibility that we we might be wrong?
-spontaneous message during meeting for worship

Friends, we’ve just had three long and deeply spiritual messages without a pause. I call us now to reflection and silence.
-spontaneous message during meeting for worship

He’s not well. He’s not well! If I was his friend, I would say, “George, are you okay?”
-keynote speaker Philip Raines remarking on Early Quaker George Fox’s sometimes outrageous behavior

It’s almost as if they lived in a different time and place that was the future.
-Philip Raines referring to the way early Quakers lived and viewed the world.

I have a problem with the theme. Jubilee never happened. Sorry, it just couldn’t work in real life. Second beef I have with Jubilee–if it’s such a good idea to free your slaves, why wait?
-Philip Raines talking about gathering theme, Living in Jubilee

It’s my sense that we are at the time of the breakdown of Capitalism. We see the consequences of our greed and oppression…Are we courageous enough to open ourselves to God’s leading so we can take our place in the reconstruction of the Peaceable Kingdom rather than get in its way?
-spontaneous message after keynote address

Are all hearts clear? (pause) Thank thee Friends.
-Elder closes the meeting for worship

My vocal chords are laminated in phlegm.
-RP Allon struggling with allergies explains why he can’t lead the high school singing

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks/ And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
-lyrics from the Big Rock Candy Mountain a folk song about a hobo’s paradise

Ah, glad I I didn’t wake you. We’re doing a sweep of the dorms.
-Kim Allen, the high school program coordinator in her never ending quest for stray teens. Instead she found me blogging

What do you think you need in your life right now?
-query for high school students to consider during affinity group meeting

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